As of tomorrow, I will only have 7 months left of my 20s. Really? Seven months? What happened to the last 10 years? It's crazy how quickly it flew by. Of course, for most of my 20s, I was raising a very precocious little boy.
I think it really hit me last week when I celebrated a friend turning 30 with him and his wife - well, not really "celebrated," since he doesn't do that, but we all talked for about 30 minutes or so. Every year, his birthday is usually a reminder to me that mine will follow all too quickly. It's so funny when I think about it. Aging doesn't seem to bother him, or other guys I know, very much at all. For my son, celebrating a birthday means he is that much closer to the oh-so-elusive concept of being "grown up." Yet, for me and many of my female friends, aging means our metabolism slows down, gravity takes its toll on our front- and back-sides, and our hormones go crazier than ever before. Gee, I wonder why women stress over aging.
I hope in my 30s, I can learn to celebrate life more. I don't want to fear aging. I will definitely admit that the biggest reason I am afraid of getting old is because I am uncomfortable with the idea of death. I shouldn't be, as a woman of faith, but I am nonetheless. I haven't lost very many people in my life at all, but that is another unfortunate side effect I am experiencing from age. I am starting to realize that I will, at some point, lose family members and friends. *shudders* I dread the thought...
Anyhow, as I was saying, I want to start to celebrate life more. I want to LIVE, and I mean really LIVE. I know I added a list of things I want to do in my 30s, but I just have to add a couple of things I want to do before I turn 30:
1. Learn Italian and Spanish, or at least learn enough to be lightly conversational.
2. Finish my Associate's degree. Since my last blog post, I found out that the Department of Education decided not to fund the Associate of Arts in General Studies. As a result, I had to switch my degree program to the Associate of Arts in Business Administration. So I have several business courses to take before I complete my online degree. I am trying to look at this as a positive... It gives me time to finalize my decision on what I will major in for my Bachelor's (details to come).
Monday, April 11, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
8 More Months Until the Big 3-0
Well, I can't say that I'm where I thought I would be, or wanted to be, when I was 29 years old. I have no job, very little money, no place of my own, no man in my life, and few trustworthy friends. I have yet to obtain even an Associate's degree, and I am currently undergoing my third custody battle. Life has certainly thrown me a few curve balls.
BUT...let me tell you about what I have accomplished. I became a mother at age 21, and have spent the last 7 1/2 years raising a remarkable young man. At 5 1/2 months, he sat up for the first time on his own, meaning I would no longer be required to support him while in a sitting position. At 7 months, he started crawling, and at 13 months, he started walking independently. I watched as walking turned to running, and took joy in the fact that he still needed me to take care of him for most basic tasks. By 15 months, I had taught him how to use forks and spoons. By 2 years old, he could count to 20. By 3 1/2 years old, he could sound out simple words when I spelled them (ironically, to hide what I was talking about, like c-o-o-k-i-e). By 4 1/2 years old, my little guy could read! Now he is 7 1/2 years old, and he can read chapter books and do beginning multiplication. I would like to say I taught him everything he knows, but the truth is, my son teaches me more than I could ever dream of teaching him. Motherhood is my greatest accomplishment thus far in life, and my most challenging classroom.
So there is my list of things I have and have not accomplished. Let me just jot down a few things that I still want to do in life:
1. Earn a Bachelor's degree. This is a challenge for me. The older I get, the more frustrated I feel with schoolwork. There are so many other things I would rather spend my time on, including doing things with my son.
2. Have a steady job. It would feel so nice to be gainfully employed and not have to rely on anyone else's financial support.
3. Have my own place. My dream is to eventually own a house. My own house! Some day it really will happen.
4. Open myself up to more social experiences. I'm way too shy...
There is a lot more...a whole lot more! I think those four are probably the most important. I'd like to be more established in my 30s. Less of a gypsy. I used to think it was fun to be a drifter, dragging my poor little boy with me, but now I'm just tired. I'm ready to settle down and discover what it means to live a stable life. I may be moving to California in June. Maybe that will be the next step in this journey we call Life.
BUT...let me tell you about what I have accomplished. I became a mother at age 21, and have spent the last 7 1/2 years raising a remarkable young man. At 5 1/2 months, he sat up for the first time on his own, meaning I would no longer be required to support him while in a sitting position. At 7 months, he started crawling, and at 13 months, he started walking independently. I watched as walking turned to running, and took joy in the fact that he still needed me to take care of him for most basic tasks. By 15 months, I had taught him how to use forks and spoons. By 2 years old, he could count to 20. By 3 1/2 years old, he could sound out simple words when I spelled them (ironically, to hide what I was talking about, like c-o-o-k-i-e). By 4 1/2 years old, my little guy could read! Now he is 7 1/2 years old, and he can read chapter books and do beginning multiplication. I would like to say I taught him everything he knows, but the truth is, my son teaches me more than I could ever dream of teaching him. Motherhood is my greatest accomplishment thus far in life, and my most challenging classroom.
So there is my list of things I have and have not accomplished. Let me just jot down a few things that I still want to do in life:
1. Earn a Bachelor's degree. This is a challenge for me. The older I get, the more frustrated I feel with schoolwork. There are so many other things I would rather spend my time on, including doing things with my son.
2. Have a steady job. It would feel so nice to be gainfully employed and not have to rely on anyone else's financial support.
3. Have my own place. My dream is to eventually own a house. My own house! Some day it really will happen.
4. Open myself up to more social experiences. I'm way too shy...
There is a lot more...a whole lot more! I think those four are probably the most important. I'd like to be more established in my 30s. Less of a gypsy. I used to think it was fun to be a drifter, dragging my poor little boy with me, but now I'm just tired. I'm ready to settle down and discover what it means to live a stable life. I may be moving to California in June. Maybe that will be the next step in this journey we call Life.
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